The Things You’ve Learned

1

April 4, 2016 by The Citron Review

by Ayla-Monic McKay

 

That day, your best friend laughed.

Your heart skipped and stumbled; the cold

ocean at your feet reminded you: keep it together

    When she laughed, she would grab your hand, fingers laced together.

    She would lean right into you, gaze up at you from beneath bangs.


Hearts are cruel, you learned: cursed

with mirages of what you could have if only —

If only she wasn’t your best friend, softly beautiful.


    The water was icy cold, but she still convinced you to do it, to leap in

    with her, shrieking, grabbing each other. You would do anything she asked.

She helped you do up the buttons of your swimming costume.

You barely suppressed the shiver that threatened to dance down

your spine. She brushed your hair aside, her fingertips rested, briefly


(such a gentle touch, deft in its precision, pierced your flesh just so.


Such a gentle breath, betraying your cruel heart, slipped from your

mouth just so.)


at the nape of your neck, and then, last button done,

she wrapped her arms around you, leaned against your back.

Her hair brushed against your neck. She said you were her dearest friend.
    Your whole body felt like the air just before a lightning storm,

    and for just a moment you were crackling with electricity.



You held your breath, suspended the moment, held it still:

the briefest of lifetimes. And then she laughed, and you kissed

her forehead, before daring her to race you to the edge of that cold sea.

 

Ayla-Monic McKay is a writer and bisexual activist from Halifax, Nova Scotia, where she lives with a handful of cats and co-runs All Grown-Up Books out of her apartment with her platonic soulmate. Her articles and short fiction have appeared in The Establishment, MISTRESS, and xoJane. She can be found on Twitter at @aylamonic.

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One thought on “The Things You’ve Learned

  1. […] which I am totally honoured by – Jenny Factor said absolutely amazing things about my poem,“The Things You’ve Learned” and I was so blown away by that. There was also a cash prize for the winners of each section so […]

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🍋10th Anniversary

Fall 2019 IssueSeptember 23rd, 2019
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We have some happy news to share! The Citron Review contributor Amye Archer has joined our Creative Nonfiction editorial team. Let's welcome her! Amye Archer - Author of Fat Girl, Skinny: A Memoir, and is the co-editor of If I Don't Make It, I Love You: Survivors in the Aftermath of School Shootings. (Skyhorse Publishing, Inc., 2019). She holds an MFA from Wilkes University. Amye's work has been published in Scary Mommy, Longreads, Feminine Collective, Brevity, Marie Claire, and more. Amye is mom to twin daughters and wife to Tim. She lives in Northeast Pennsylvania. Follow her at @amyearcher https://citronreview.com/2019/03/20/one-week/ #briefliterature #cheerstotenyears #amreading #TheCitronReview #creativenonfiction
We're pleased to highlight creative nonfiction from Julie Watson. "Odds Are" is now available in our Summer Issue. https://citronreview.com/2019/06/21/odds-are/ #amreading #flashcnf #summerissue #cheersto10years
Anita Goveas, @raspberrybakewell, has fiction featured in our Summer Issue. https://citronreview.com/2019/06/21/coverings/ #amreading #flashfiction #summerissue #cheersto10years
New Flash Fiction from Mary Grimm, who has published a novel, Left to Themselves and a collection of stories, Stealing Time (which are both on Random House). She teaches fiction writing at Case Western Reserve University. https://citronreview.com/…/…/21/the-dream-of-her-long-dying/ #TheCitronReview #SummerIssue #Summer2019 #flashfiction #cheersto10years
Creative Nonfiction from our new Summer issue, "What About Me?" by Phyllis Reilly. https://citronreview.com/2019/06/21/what-about-me/ #TheCitronReview #SummerIssue #Summer2019 #flashcnf #cheersto10years
From our summer issue, "How Much Snow" by Erik Moellering. Erik Moellering teaches English at A-B Tech Community College in Asheville, NC, where he also performs in a variety of theatrical productions. https://citronreview.com/2019/06/21/how-much-snow/ #TheCitronReview #SummerIssue #CitronSix #Summer2019 #poetry #cheersto10years

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