How to Hate Your Life

1

December 10, 2009 by The Citron Review

by Megan Jones

 

When you walk over to Suzie Long’s table and she takes a millennium to order, pop one of the migraine pills Dr. Sladowski prescribed to you. But make sure you take a chug of the finest wine the crappy hotel you work at carries. When you find Ricardo, the foreign busboy, is already trashed in the hotel wine cellar, slap him around until he wakes up. Walk out of the cellar, and when Jenny, the concierge, gives you a dirty look, give her the bird and pop another pill. When Henry Powers, the hotel’s wealthiest client, makes a move on you, “accidentally” spill his artichoke soup in his lap. As you walk back to the kitchen to get a towel, pop another pill. Dry-swallow this one. The lump in your throat will give you an excuse to take a break.

Make your way to the parking lot and sit in your car. Open the glove compartment and pull out the silver flask you stole from your in-laws. Take a swig and swish the clear liquid around your mouth, then wince as it burns its way down your throat. Wonder what your life would have been like if you never dropped out of Julliard. Think about how you would never had ended up working at a cruddy chain-hotel. think about how you could have made a salary with a few more figures, then pop another pill. Take another swig of vodka from the flask and get out of the car. Walk back into the hotel and probe your pockets looking for more pills. When you find you have run out, feel the desperation making its way into your mind.

 

Megan Jones is 14 and attends high school in Phelan, CA. She enjoys playing guitar in her band, and you can usually find her being distracted by shiny objects.

One thought on “How to Hate Your Life

  1. julio says:

    Amazing. This is really good. This may seem surprising, but this story kind of sums up my life. Good job! And you’re only 14, THAT’S AMAZING!!!!

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