Efficiency measures

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December 22, 2025 by The Citron Review

by Matt Kendrick

 

It’s [sunrise through mist] and I’m sitting with [old woman] in the [kitchen]. My [laptop] is open on the [table] in front of me. [Old woman] is scratching the yellowing [nail] of her left big [finger].

      When I show her the [pictorials] on the electronic [mirror], she says she doesn’t understand any of it.

      I say, it’s pretty simple.

      She makes [face exhaling].

      Come on, I say, aiming for patient [heart] and [smiling face with smiling eyes].

      But still, she insists on using [speaking head] [words] like a stubborn [inferior horse].

      What’s wrong with her is a [stomach] [bubble]. She’s had one before.

      Once I’ve clicked the [pictorials] to indicate this, a [circle] whirls.

      Do you have a [hot face]?

      She shakes her [head].

      How long has the bad [body] happened?

      Seven [sunsets].

      The continue from there. It’s pretty thorough. Then the [circle] again. Then the [pictorials] for [drop of blood] [test tube]. We used to go to a [hospital] for this. But now we just print the [syringe] on a 3D [printer] and do it ourselves. Much more efficient. The [circle] whirls. The [printer] prints. The [spanner] [page] tells me to—

      1. press the [needle] into [old woman]’s [arm] [meat]

      2. attach the [test tube]

      3. pull back

      When I have the [drop of blood] [haircut], I have to insert the medical [chopstick] also provided by the 3D [printer] then scan the [zebra] [rectangle] to upload the [bar chart] [bullseye] onto my [laptop]. The [circle] whirls. The [robot] [doctor] churns out bad [exclamation marks]. In the [dinosaur] [hourglass], this would have meant a long [yawning face] [stopwatch] before another [bus] to the [hospital]. Now it’s a [luggage] of do it ourselves. Much more efficient. The 3D [printer]. A [syringe]. A small [clamp]. A [knife]. A [test tube]. A [needle]. The [spanner] [page] tells me to—

      1. get [old woman] lying down

      2. clean the [skin] around her [stomach] [bubble] with antibacterial [soap]

      3. press the [needle] into her [stomach] [meat]

      4. wait one [clock] [cyclone]

      5. make a [knife] [line] across the [stomach] [bubble]

      6. use a [cloud] [sponge] to mop up [drop of blood]

      7. fix the [knife] [line] with the [clamp]

      I start to feel [woozy face].

      What’s wrong? she asks.

      I say, nothing. But I think how [old woman] always says [pictorials] hurt her [brain] and in this [clock] [pin] I can understand that.

      Am I going to die? she asks.

      This is a [grinning squinting face] and I do my best to reply with a [grinning squinting face] of my own—we all die sooner or later.

      She rolls her [eyes].

      I look back at the [spanner] [page]—

      8. use the [knife] to cut a [peanut] from the [stomach] [bubble]

      9. transfer the [peanut] into the [test tube]

      10. repeat [pizza segments] 8 and 9

      By the time I’m finished, I feel [face with spiral eyes].

      Am I going to die? [old woman] asks again.

      I say, we won’t know anything until I scan the [zebra] [rectangle].

      The [circle] whirls.

      The [robot] [doctor] churns out bad [exclamation marks]. It’s the same as last time. The [alien] [broccoli] has returned. We always knew this could happen. Still, I feel [nauseated face]. [Old woman] is looking at me with [face holding back tears].

      Before, [old man] wasn’t yet a [skull] and I remember how he bought new [chairs] and [tables] so everything would be sterile. Then he tried to assemble them and got [angry face] with the [spanner] [pages].

      The [earth globe] has gone to [devil] [place] in a [hand] [basket]—that’s what [old man] would be saying in this [clock] [pin].

      [Old woman] says the [spanner] [pages] for her [medical symbol] [screwdriver] look unfathomably [tornado].

      I say we’ll work them out, but I feel [face vomiting] and [face without mouth].

      [Old woman] sees this. She’s like [old man]. She sees things before we see them ourselves. So, when she says there’s too much [face without mouth] these [calendar] [cyclones], I nod my [head]. It was much better, she says, in the [calendar] [cyclones] when the [human] [doctor] took you gently by the [hand] and spoke to you with [speaking head] [words] in comforting [musical notes].

 

Matt Kendrick is a writer, editor and teacher based in the East Midlands, UK. His work has been featured in various journals and anthologies including Best Microfiction, Best Small Fictions, Craft Literary, Fractured Lit, and the Wigleaf Top 50. He lives with a chronic illness called Trevor.

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IMAGE: Painted scroll: Winter Journey Through the Mountains Along Plank Roads (Ming Huang's Journey to Shu)
IMAGE: Winter Journey Through the Mountains Along Plank Roads (Ming Huang's Journey to Shu) (Yokoi Kinkoku 横井金谷) , 1985.791,” Harvard Art Museums collections online, Dec 18, 2025